30th Jun2011

Canada needs (super)heroes

by Jason Ward
It’s time for a pop quiz.  Ready?

Name a Canadian superhero.

If you didn’t rhyme off names like Terry Fox, Laurier or Mackenzie-King, chances are you thought of this guy.

 

Now the hard part.  Name another.

Not so easy, is it?

 


While Wolverine may be the most mainstream character that Canadians can call one of their own, there are some others worthy of mention.  Marvel Comics also has a Canadian version of the Avengers in Alpha Flight. Aurora, Northstar, Shaman, Sasquatch, Puck and the flag-clad Guardian and Vindicator had their own original series for over ten years, but have struggled to maintain a following since 1993.  Killed off in a 2006 issue of New Avengers by writer Brian Michael Bendis, the team was recently resurrected from the dead and currently star in a new limited series. 

 

Another company, Comely Comix, launched the patriotically-garbed Captain Canuck in 1975.  Empowered by aliens and tasked with defending the true north strong and free, Captain Canuck was the costumed agent of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service in the ‘futuristic world’ of 1993.  Despite multiple attempts at a revival, the character remains a novelty at best.

And that’s about it.

Slim pickings, I know. This just proves that Canada needs more superheroes; characters that reflect the values of the nation today, and stand on guard for you and me.

In anticipation of Canada’s 144th birthday on Friday, here are three brand new superheroes that Canadians can look up to:

The Drill – Made rich by smart investments in Alberta’s oil sands, Mike MacDonald is regarded as Canada’s wealthiest and most irresponsible western-based playboy, until environmental protesters show him the error of his ways. Building a super-suit made of spare parts from abandoned oil rigs, Mike MacDonald becomes The Drill to protect the environment, fight corruption and keep gas prices down.

Confederation – Disgusted by the loss of popular support during the federal election of 2011, hardline Quebec nationals conduct nuclear experiments to create the Separatisté, the first of many new FLQ soldiers aimed at destroying Canada. Determined to keep the country together, Prime Minister Stephen Harper commissions the formation of Confederation, a super-team of Canada’s greatest heroes from every province and territory led by the fiscally-responsible superhero, Economy.
 
Council – In Toronto, you’re either a right-wing nut or a pinko commie. When conservative-minded Gord Ford and leftist Dave Vaughn find themselves at odds during a protest at city hall, a terrorist attack fuses them into the superhero Council. While maintaining their individual personalities within their new superpowered body, channelling popular opinion in Toronto determines who controls Council.  Described in the media as “the Schizophrenic Superhero,” Council spends most of his time undoing what little good he’d done previously, ultimately accomplishing nothing of value.

Real or imaginary, who’s your Canadian superhero?

JW Ward is a Toronto-based writer, media personality and professional cynic. Follow him on Twitter at @jasonwardDOTca, through his website at www.jasonward.ca and every Thursday here at Biff Bam Pop! 
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24th Jun2011

Green Lantern kinda dim

by Jason Ward

Green Lantern Comixfun by Jason Ward

I wanted this to work.  I really did.

Sadly, some things just weren’t meant to be.

The biggest problem with Green Lantern?  It’s as hollow as the superhero’s constructs.

Let me explain:

Green Lantern is based on the DC Comics superhero of the same name.  As the story goes, the ancient Guardians of the Universe harnessed the green energy of willpower to keep peace and order throughout the known galaxies.  Dividing the universe into sectors, each sector gets a Green Lantern ring, and each ring picks someone (or something) to wear it, police that chunk of space and become a member of the Green Lantern Corps.  The ring channels the green energy, allowing the wearer to do anything imaginable – fly, create objects, fire energy blasts, whatever.

One of the greatest of the Green Lanterns, Abin Sur, protects the space that Earth occupies.  He gets taken out by an old enemy called Parallax, a being that feeds on the yellow energy of fear.  Escaping Parallax but mortally wounded in the process, Sur crashes on Earth and sends the ring to find his successor.  The ring finds test pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), who must learn to harness the power he is given and overcome his own fear if he is to save Earth, the Green Lantern Corps and the universe from Parallax.

Sounds like the makings of an epic, action-oriented special-effects buffet, doesn’t it?

Instead, it’s just okay.

Ryan Reynolds, known best for starring in X-Men Origins:  Wolverine, Blade: Trinity and his marriage to Scarlett Johansson, has plenty of fanboy cred and would seem to be a worthy choice for the ballsy character of Hal Jordan.  As welcome as his sense of humour is to the film, Reynolds proves he’s not up to the task during the character’s more vulnerable moments.  In one case, Jordan explains to his friends how he doesn’t feel up to the responsibility that comes with the ring.  Looking at his face, it was hard to tell if he was genuinely conflicted or had just stubbed his toe.

Green Lantern Comixfun by Jason WardMost of the other members of the cast were mailing it in too.  Blake Lively, while pretty to look at, doesn’t have much to play with the standard-issue role of love-interest/damsel-in-distress Carol Ferris.  Peter Sarsgaard also has little to work with as Hector Hammond, a scientist who can’t impress his Senator father (Tim Robbins) until he becomes infected with some of Parallax’s being.  The sole standout is Mark Strong as Sinestro, the Green Lantern that helps train Hal Jordan (and doubts him the most) alongside CGI versions of fan-favourite GLs Kilowog and Tomar-Re (voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan and Geoffrey Rush, respectively).  Out of the entire cast, only Sinestro, an alien, is believable and fully realized from his comic book origins, with a small teaser wedged into the credits to hint at his future in a possible sequel.
In a CGI-heavy film, the most surprising thing was how good the likes of Kilowog and Tomar-Re appeared next to Reynolds’ Jordan.  The completely CGI’ed costume on Reynolds looked so poor at times that it would have made more sense to put him in an actual suit.  It would have been less distracting, and maybe more of the film’s $150 million budget could have been spent cleaning up the script and giving the characters a little more depth.  It can be done – we’ve seen it in Richard Donner’s Superman and Chris Nolan’s The Dark Knight.

Green Lantern is like a meal you have every day.  It’s okay, not great, and every time you have it, you hope for the best but end up disappointed.

If only it could have worked.

Green Lantern
Starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong & Geoffrey Rush
Written by Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim & Michael Goldberg
Directed by Martin Campbell
3/5

Category : Entertainment, Movies
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23rd Jun2011

Ready to suck – True Blood & riding the vampire wave

by Jason Ward

If you’re a vampire fan, then you know it’s time to suck again.

True Blood’s fourth season premieres Sunday June 26th at 9 PM on HBO Canada.  Inspired by the bestselling “Southern Vampire Mysteries” series of books by Charlaine Harris, the fourth season is said to be loosely based around the fourth novel, Dead to the World.

 

The show stars Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse (a porn star name if I ever heard one), a woman with telepathic gifts that walks between the world of vampires and our own, and gets a fair bit of undead action in the process.  The first eight minutes of the fourth season have already found their way online (and can be seen here, here and here thanks to low-quality YouTube uploads) and begins with Sookie in the magical land of the faerie, where all may not be as wonderful as it seems.

Honestly?  I don’t get it.  Not the show, the acting, or its appeal.  But vamps in general?  That’s easy – it’s one of the greatest analogies for sexual discovery and repression that a Christian culture could produce.

Vampires haven’t been with us a long time as we know them today, but the idea goes back hundreds of years to Eastern European folklore about blood-hungry demons and the undead.  Only after John William Polidori released his short story The Vampyre in 1819 and Bram Stoker unleashed the unforgettable Dracula in 1897 was the idea of the modern vampire fully formed – the romantic foreigner that sates his unholy desire by first seducing, then penetrating and draining an unknowing, virginal woman.  It’s up to normal, god-fearing Christian men to defend their women from desires they can’t control (with crosses, to boot), and to eliminate the foreign, non-Christian threat.  

If that’s not about sexual repression, then what is?

After the books came the movies. German director F.W. Murnau gave us an unauthorized Dracula adaptation in 1922’s Nosferatu, followed shortly thereafter by Hollywood’s more official interpretation in 1931’s Dracula starring Bela Lugosi.  It wasn’t long before Europe’s suave bloodsucker found himself slipping into self-parody, meeting Frankenstein’s monster and even Abbott & Costello.

England’s Hammer Films tried to make the vampire something to be feared once again when actor Christopher Lee took on the role for the first of many times in 1958’s Horror of Dracula, and even the recently-passed Ingrid Pitt got to vamp it up for Hammer as the sexy undead in The Vampire Lovers.

The list, as they say, goes on.  The popularity of the vampire comes and goes, ebbs and flows, and we’re in the midst of a vampire peak in prominence.  The early 2000s saw zombies as the go-to supernatural monster once again, giving way to the blood-hungry undead thanks to the success of True Blood and  Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series of books and films. 

 

If you look closely, both series play with the material from a feminist perspective of female empowerment.  True Blood’s Sookie discovers her sexual self as she discovers the vampire world, while Twilight’s Bella does much of the same (with a bit less graphic sex and nudity).  The female characters are less like their victimized Victorian counterparts, depicting women willingly embracing their “new world”.  While Sookie spends the summer navigating the lands of the faerie and vampire, autumn brings the filmic climax of Bella’s journey with the release of Breaking Dawn Part One on November 18th, 2011, followed by the second part in November of 2012. 

Female empowerment in the face of a vampire’s desire?  I’m all for it.  Hell, I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  True Blood and Twilight?  Sorry, bad acting’s just not my thing.  If it’s yours, enjoy.  You’ve plenty to sink your teeth into over the next few months.

In the meantime, I’ll stick with the classics.

And occasionally this one, too.

Recently it was zombies.  Now it’s vampires.  What do you think is the next big supernatural fad on the horizon?

JW Ward is a Toronto-based writer, media personality and professional cynic. Follow him on Twitter at

@jasonwardDOTca, through his website at www.jasonward.ca and every Thursday here at Biff Bam Pop! 

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16th Jun2011

Will the Lantern see green? Why Green Lantern needs to be the next big thing

by Jason Ward

This weekend, there’s a whole lot riding on the guy with the green ring.

In case you don’t know, this guy:

Green Lantern debuts in theatres Friday and stars Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, a test pilot who discovers a dying alien that gives him a ring of incredible power and membership in the Green Lantern Corps, a collective of aliens tasked with policing the cosmos.The Corps inform Hal of an extraterrestrial threat to Earth, one that will force him to overcome great fear if he’s to save the world.

Compared to the likes of Superman or Batman, Green Lantern is a B-list character at best.He’s made appearances in pop culture, but hasn’t appeared much beyond the comic books of his birth.He was mentioned in the Donovan song “Sunshine Superman” in 1966, appeared in the Superfriends of the 1970s and 80s, and even got his suit mixed up at the dry cleaners with that of Duck Dodgers in the ‘90s, while alternate versions of the character were popping up in DC’s animated universe via Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League.
Ryan Reynolds as the Green Lantern.

Early reviews of Green Lantern (like this and this) haven’t been kind, making the big budget CGI-fest a big gamble for DC Entertainment, Time Warner and the future of the comic book movie.While a fan-favourite property to comic readers, Green Lantern is nobody to the public at large.Moreso than fear, Green Lantern will have to overcome great public ignorance and bad press in the coming weeks to become the summer superhero success story it needs to be.Here’s why:

1)Money – With an estimated cost between $150 and $200 million, (and, as a rule of thumb, an additional $200 million to market), Green Lantern needs to make back its budget to justify continuing the franchise with two more movies, as is the not-too-secret plan. Given that the character is an unknown commodity and the film is already getting poor reviews, making the money it needs to be a success will depend on developing good word-of-mouth credibility beyond its opening weekend.Right now, that doesn’t seem likely;

2)Competition – DC-based superhero movies have been virtually non-existent over the last six years, save for Christopher Nolan’s brilliant Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, Bryan Singer’s poorly-received Superman Returns of 2006 and Zack Snyder’s Watchmen of 2009.Meanwhile, Marvel Entertainment has been busy at the box office.They released Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk in 2008 and Iron Man 2 in 2010.This year has already seen Thor achieve box office glory, while Captain America: The First Avenger comes out July 22nd.All this culminates with the major characters of these five films joining forces for 2012’s The Avengers, creating a shared universe chock full of possibilities.Oh, and we can’t forget Marvel’s licensed properties, like the recent X-Men: First Class and Sony Entertainment’s reboot of New York’s favourite web-slinger with 2012’s Amazing Spider-Man.Green Lantern is DC Entertainment’s first step towards truly competing with Marvel, and DC has their work cut out for them;

3)The comic relaunch – As has been covered in detail here at Biff Bam Pop, DC Comics has decided to relaunch its entire superhero line in September, with 52 brand new #1 issues featuring modernized versions of its iconic characters. Green Lantern characters will be the focus of three of these books, and the synergistic hope is that Green Lantern the movie will bring new readers to DC’s newly-set table, and;

4)More movies – If Green Lantern does become a success, it opens the doors to more DC characters in film and more comic book movies in general.Currently, Hollywood is bouncing around concepts for the likes of Hawkman, Flash, Shazam and the Nolan-helmed Superman reboot.If Green Lanterntanks, watch Hollywood’s superheroic balls pull so tightly into its body that we’ll be lucky to see anything aside from Nolan’s Superman and Batman flicks for the next five years – and that’s not a good thing.

What DC Comics superhero do you believe deserves the major movie treatment?

JW Ward is a Toronto based writer, media personality and professional cynic. Follow him on Twitter at @jasonwardDOTca, through his website at www.jasonward.ca and every Thursday here at Biff Bam Pop!

 

Category : Movies
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09th Jun2011

Damn Changes! The new definition of DC

by Jason Ward
“The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

In comics, that’s not just a phrase – it’s business.

A few weeks back here at Biff Bam Pop, I talked about how summer events are often touted as “game changers” but don’t really accomplish anything that propels story development and characters forward.

Turns out, DC Comics just helped prove me right.  In their case, the post-Flashpoint world is a chance to turn the clock backwards in terms of meaningful story, character and continuity development.  Heck, they’re even re-launching the entire line with 52 #1 issues in September, abandoning the numbering of iconic series like Action Comics and Detective Comics.

It’s the worst thing they could have done. 

Then why do it?  Simply put, the “Big Two” are now properties owned by giant corporate conglomerates.  Time-Warner owns DC Comics.  Disney owns Marvel.  Corporate management brings corporate goals of large, corporate profits.  That means a lowest-common denominator approach to crafting comics that will have the greatest possible appeal – characters are returned to their most iconic and marketable interpretations, adventuring just enough so something happens, but never enough to change them beyond their starting point.

Barbara Gordon Returns as Batgirl this September with Batgirl #1.

Superman’s marriage to Lois Lane?  Allegedly gone.  Former Batgirl Barbara Gordon’s triumph as the wheelchair-bound techguru named Oracle?  Possibly wiped out.  Dick Grayson’s evolution from Nightwing to Batman?  Done.  There’ll just be one Batman again, and Robin will be his son, Damien Wayne.  At least they’re sticking with that.

Can such a formula of nothing-ever-changes work?  Just ask the creators of The Simpsons.  I’m sure they’d have plenty to say on the matter.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

When I was working in radio, a lot of people would talk endlessly about the continuing appeal of The Beatles.  My theory, and I believe it’s a sound one, is that the Beatles’ popularity endures not just because of the quality of their music, but because their story was finite.  They formed in 1960, were hitmakers by 1963 and were done by 1970. Throughout their magical mystery career, they grew with their audience and the culture at large.  Their music matured, their messages became more experimental, then more thoughtful.  And then, they were gone, leaving their generation and those to follow wondering what could have been. 

By ending, The Beatles mattered.

|The same could be said for the success of the Harry Potter series of novels.  The stories weren’t just well-written, they matured as did the audience that read them.  As each book stood for a year of Harry’s magical education, so too did each book represent a year in the maturation of Harry and his world.  The story grows more sophisticated, building towards its ultimate resolution where Harry, and the reader, learn to move on.

Characters should evolve.  Deaths find meaning in permanence.  Life goes on.  Shouldn’t our fictional heroes be able to do the same?

According to DC, not if there’s an extra buck to be made.

In the opening for Alan Moore and Curt Swan’s famous Superman story Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?, Moore responded to critics about the pointlessness of out-of-continuity “imaginary” stories by reminding the reader that all stories are “imaginary” and should be judged on the merits of the narrative within.

Come September, DC fans will get the chance.

I just won’t be one of them.

JW Ward is a Toronto based writer, media personality and professional cynic. Follow him on Twitter at @jasonwardDOTca, through his website at www.jasonward.ca and every Thursday here at Biff Bam Pop! 
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02nd Jun2011

Marvel’s 5 Lamest Mutants

by Jason Ward
In preparation for the latest film in the X-Men film franchise, this week at Biff Bam Pop we’re counting down to the Friday release of X-Men: First Class with a series of x-focused articles.

Marvel Comics, the home of the X-Men, has been known over the years as “The House of Ideas.”

Sometimes, that house was empty.

Back in September of 1963, comic book legends Stan Lee and Jack “King” Kirby unleashed X-Men #1, bringing us the merry world of the Marvel mutant; a world where those born with extra abilities were persecuted for being different.

While initially successful, X-Men’s sales began to lag. Issues #67 to 93 featured reprints of earlier stories because Marvel just couldn’t be bothered to do otherwise.

Then came 1975. Writer Len Wein and artist Dave Cockrum helped re-launch Marvel’s mutants with Giant Size X-Men #1, bringing forth a whole new group of superpowered heroes for fans to enjoy.

Ever since, success has never been far behind, so long as Marvel kept coming up with more mutants with even stranger powers.

Often, those powers are awesome. Magneto? The master of magnetism. Wolverine? Claws and superhealing. Cyclops? Frickin’ laser beams – from his eyes.

Then, there are the others. Some mutants got the short end of the power stick, or were just plain useless. Presented here for your pleasure (and, in a way, for the sake of mutant persecution) are Marvel’s five lamest mutants ever.


#5 – Caliban – This albino mutant had an unfortunate appearance but a somewhat decent power – he could track down other mutants. Problem is, if there are no other mutants around, Caliban’s just a funny looking albino. Realizing his lameness even in X-Men stories, he went begging to the X-baddie Apocalypse for a power upgrade – twice. Caliban’s efforts to become more useful overshadow his annoying habit of speaking in the third person, but only enough to keep him this low on the list.



#4 – Dazzler – Alison Blair was an X-Man introduced at the height of the disco craze, and her powers are nearly as useless as the music. Able to convert sound waves into light and energy beams, you’d think she’d be less lame, but she’s never fully realized the potential of her powers outside of using them to cut pyro costs during her pop music career. At least she rocks the disco suit.

#3 – Doug Ramsey – Called Cypher when introduced in the X-Men spinoff title The New Mutants, Doug Ramsey was better known by his given name than a descriptor of his powers. Able to decipher any language almost instantaneously, Doug became the team’s universal translator and computer programmer – and utterly pointless in an action-oriented comic book. In an effort to make him more interesting, Doug was killed off, merged with a techno-organic alien, retroactively killed again, and was recently resurrected. Who said comics aren’t like soap operas?

#2 – Maggott – When it comes to disgusting mutant powers, there are few that can top this South African. Instead of a normal digestive system, Maggott’s chest releases two large slugs with the ability to eat through anything. Once satiated, they return to his body to nourish him and, if they’ve eaten something really powerful, turn his skin blue. As you’d never be sure if he was satisfied or choking, Maggott’s clearly not the kind of guy you want over for dinner.

#1 – Beak – If you want to talk about being a useless mutant, this one is tops. Born in the Netherlands, Barnell Bohusk’s mutation turned him into a humanoid bird – without the ability to fly. Made somewhat famous by Grant Morrison’s run on New X-Men, the most useful thing this turkey could do was take a hit for someone (anyone) else. When the Scarlet Witch used her reality-altering abilities to de-power most of the mutants in 2005, Beak found himself human once again. Donning a superpowered suit, Barnell overcame his earlier impotence as Blackwing, a member of the New Warriors with the power of – you guessed it – flight. When you’re cooler without your mutant powers, you know you suck.

Think we missed any? Who’s your lamest mutant ever?

JW Ward is a Toronto based writer, media personality and professional cynic. After much harassment he’s finally appeared at Biff Bam Pop! Follow him on Twitter at @jasonwardDOTca and at his own site, cryptically titled http://www.jasonward.ca/.

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